


The Gabriel Plan

by Lexitennant2



Series: God Pairs Up Angels and Demons [2]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: I made Beelzebubs fly a gigantic puppy, M/M, Other, crowley is a snake
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-07-13
Packaged: 2020-06-27 11:35:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19790059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lexitennant2/pseuds/Lexitennant2
Summary: Crowley and Aziraphale are very happy with their new found relationship, but Beelzebub and Gabriel are still trying out a new plan to get God to understand that this relationship is unacceptable. Even though a certain archangel is starting to have feelings for a buzzing demon. Beelzebub's gigantic head piece fly is just along for the ride.





	The Gabriel Plan

There were two figures, shrouded by a cluster of small trees, that gave off an ominous air.

One was quite tall, and quite handsome. His expression was smug as he straightened the lapel of his dark grey suit.

"Well," he nudged his companion, "I think we have enough evidence to get them this time."

His companion - who was much shorter - looked away from the camera they had pointed towards an occupied bench, and glared at the taller man.

"That'zzz what you zzzsaid the lazzt time." The shorter figure buzzed with irritation. 

"Now Beelzebub-"

" _Now Gabriel."_ They mocked back.

Gabriel crossed his arms and definitely did not pout. Angels, let alone _Archangels,_ did not pout.

There was a gentle tugging at the hem of his pants, and he looked down in disgust.

"You couldn't keep her on your head?" He asked, trying to shake the fly off that was trying to possibly ' _hump his leg'._

Beelzebub scoffed, but made a little clicking noise with her tongue. The fly stopped and waddled over to its master, throwing Gabriel a look that made the archangel quite uncomfortable. It wasn't his fault he didn't want a fly the size of a small dog humping his leg. The damn thing had the indecency to look _betrayed_ that Gabriel didn't want her around.

"We are trying to blend in. Humanzzzz would notice if I had Geraldine on my head."

Gabriel looked down at Geraldine, then back at Beelzebub, and wondered how in the world he'd gotten into this mess.

Then he heard a delicate cough, one that was so _familiar_ and so _annoying_ , and turned his attention back to their targets.

Said targets were both betrayers of their respective sides.

One an angel, with just a touch of _bad_ in him, and one a demon, with far too much _good_ in him.

They were sitting on a park bench, sitting very close with their fingers interlaced, their heads bent towards each other as they talked about the ducks. The angel was scolding the demon for sinking yet another duck, but there was only fondness in his tone.

"Thatszzz diszzgusting." Beelzebub said, wrinkling their nose in an irritated but very _cute_ way.

Gabriel blinked. He had not just thought that _any_ action of Beelzebub's was _cute_. He reached up, and tried to casually slap the side of his head to knock that thought out of there.

Beelzebub didn't notice, zooming in with their camera as to take another picture of the two lovebirds at the bench.

Gabriel sighed and leaned his weight against the nearest tree branch. There was no need for him to 'rest' but it felt right for his corporeal form to do so. He still wasn't used to this body. He would take it up with upper management, but upper management was _God_ and _she_ wasn't really there anymore to listen to Gabriel complaining that his corporeal form was _making him act human_.

He looked at the contraption in Beelzebub's hands with distaste. The last time they'd been here, the cameras had been huge and stood on three legs, now they were handheld and uglier then dog shit, and Gabriel was a man of aesthetics. He wondered why these tiny creatures that took pictures of others had evolved in such a hideous fashion.

And why they didn't work worth a crap when they needed to.

There shouldn't have been another attempt at gaining evidence against the angel and demon, but here they were anyways.

The wedding had been the first plan. After the false-alarm-armageddon, and after making their respective soldiers _stand the fuck down_ , Beelzebub and Gabriel were in each others own personal _hell._ The angels were just as rawly as the demons, though the demons could vent their pent up frustrations out on each other; the angels could not.

They were reaching a boiling point - an angel had gone down to do a simple miracle and had ended up nearly leveling a small city in Ukraine was testament to that - and that's when Gabriel had come up with.... _the plan._

A plan to deal with the two that had ruined the apocalypse. Love for humanity or some bullshit like that; why those two couldn't see that the millennia's long tension between Heaven and Hell needed to be dealt with, with Heaven winning in the outcome of course, baffled Gabriel.

"They're on the move." Beezlebub startled Gabriel from his thoughts, and began to briskly walk after their targets.

Gabriel had no problem keeping up, his longer legs easily overlapping Beelzebub's so now the demon was rushing to keep up with him, and turned his thoughts back to the disaster that had been the wedding.

Just because Aziraphale had _breathed fire_ _at them,_ and reportedly Crowley had _bathed in holy water,_ didn't deter Gabriel from thinking, if they just had more evidence of how much _fraternizing_ they did, they could show the almighty the abomination that was going on under her nose. Because obviously God wouldn't want an angel and a demon to make heart eyes at each other, and be _overly_ familiar with the humans.

So Gabriel had _hit up_ Beelzebub, and both were standing awkwardly to the side of the witch and witchfinder's wedding, eyes trained on Crowley and Aziraphale. Those two were utterly unaware of the demon and archangel watching them - a clever cloaking trick from Gabriel was to thank - but they still managed to make Gabriel want to bash his head into a wall several times.

".... _giving you away to me, wiping away a tear as good old Beez begins the ceremony."_

Gabriel cursed the hearing he'd been given and clenched his fist.

He couldn't tell what Beelzebub was thinking - their face was always a blank slate, their voice emotionless...until recently they hadn't shown any emotion but Gabriel wasn't going to dwell on that - but he assumed they were as unsettled as he was.

The flies flying around were bzzzing in unease, the largest one, placed _properly,_ on the demons head, was whining softly like a sad little puppy. Gabriel didn't know how he felt about comparing Geraldine to a puppy.

"Oh that motherfucker." He snarled, wishing he could close his ears to the awful _sweet talk_ that was happening in the front row. Weddings were meant to be beautiful and pure, and here was Gabriel wishing this one would end so he could leave and cry.

Beelzebub was the one with the camera, knowing more about it than he, and was snapping pictures quickly, just as eager to leave the place.

But suddenly, there was a loud whirring noise, and the camera burst into flames. Beelzebub dropped it to the ground quickly, and without even thinking started trying to stamp out the small fire. Geraldine was clinging tightly as its master jumped all over the place in a hurry to squash the fire and smoke coming from the cursed contraption.

Gabriel snapped his head towards the angel and demon, but neither were paying any attention, their gazes focused entirely on the ceremony before them.

There was no way that his cloak had slipped, so he just mourned the loss of the three legged beast - unaware that cameras were _not_ alive, and that the older camera would have taken much longer to take the pictures - and bid the demon farewell so he could sulk in private about his plan not working.

They met up again when they learned that the angel and demon were being very open about their relationship, and were sitting together on the bench at St.James Park that they normally occupied, but this time much closer and touching as much as they could.

The camera hadn't blown up.. _yet._ Gabriel scowled at the thought and walked faster, ignoring the small grunts of effort his smaller companion was giving.

* * *

Crowley was still in a state of disbelief.

It was only a week after the wedding, but it already felt like an eternity. A _good_ eternity. 

Crowley looked down at his hand, which was being held gently by Aziraphale. 

"I understand that you and the.. _ducks_ have this _vendetta_ against each other but you don't need to keep sinking them." Aziraphale scolded, his voice soft as he half-heartedly wagged a finger at Crowley.

Crowley, in a complete and utter disgusting move, grabbed the finger and brought it to his lips and gave it a small kiss.

Aziraphale flushed a pretty shade of red and let out an _honest to God giggle._

"Come on now, we have dinner reservations right?" Crowley got up, not letting go of the other man's hand. "Don't want to be late for our dinner date _angel_." He smirked.

"Of course _dear._ " Aziraphale smiled and got up as well.

Both began heading towards where the Bentley was parked, in no particular hurry because the dinner reservation was always reserved right when they arrived. As they walked the length of the pond, Crowley turned his head to stick his tongue out at a group of ducks he hadn't managed to sink yet, when a peculiar smell reached his tongue.

He had kept many of his snake like ways besides the eyes, and one of these ways was his tongue could still be used to smell more delicate things that his nose couldn't.

He paused, tongue out in the air, wiggling a little as it tried to figure out where he knew that smell from.

"Crowley, are you alright?" His angel questioned, and Crowley put his tongue back in his mouth.

"You don't smell it?"

Aziraphale looked at him curiously, before taking a dramatic sniff.

"Oh..well that's." He scrunched up his nose as Crowley paused their walk for good and whirled around to look behind him in the direction of the smell.

"That smells like fire. Hell fire."

"You don't think-"

"I smelled it at the wedding, and here it is again. It's no coincidence." Crowley cut off Aziraphale, squeezing his hand tightly.

"Let's get going." He muttered darkly, and with one final sweep of the area - completely missing the awkward two figures who dashed behind a tree - he tugged on his lovers hand and rushed them towards the car.

"I don't like this." He muttered as he started up the car, merging into traffic the way a blind dog would.

Aziraphale clutched at the seats, and let out a nervous noise.

"They wouldn't be after us, not so soon. They promised to leave us alone."

"Angel, I wouldn't trust either of them as far as I - stop gripping the leather like that, it'll crease - could throw them."

Aziraphale unclenched the seat has they made a wide u-turn and began barreling back the way they came from.

"What on Earth are you doing?!"

"Losing the scent." Crowley smirked, driving the car up onto the sidewalk nearly hitting a woman.

"Would you be careful." Admonished Aziraphale.

"She knew the risks-"

"You can not use that excuse when we are on the _sidewalk."_ Aziraphale said angrily, his hands moving to clench the seat again against the heated glare Crowley threw at him.

Crowley drove them back onto the street, made a few more crazy turns, before they were on a long stretch of road leading out to the country. Aziraphale had been so terrified he hadn't noticed that Crowley had miracled the M25 to let them through and now they were making their way in the direction of Tadfield.

"I think we lost them." Crowley finally said after a moment of silence. Aziraphale raised an eyebrow.

"You think." He said drily.

Crowley rolled his eyes and reached over to pull the angel's hand and kiss his knuckle in apology.

The car continued along the country road at a 100 mph, both unaware that a rather large fly was taking refuge in the fender underside of the Bentley's wheel.

* * *

Gabriel grabbed Beelzebub by the upper arm and pulled them both swiftly behind a tree as he saw Crowley's head snapping back, his yellow eyes searching the park.

Gabriel was beyond furious at this point. Those two were probably on to Beelzebub and he, and to top it all off, that meant his _second_ plan had failed.

His plans _never_ needed a second go around, let alone a _third,_ which seemed to be the direction things were headed in.

"Well that went brilliantly." Beelzebub's sarcastic comment made Gabriel bristle all over and he held back a snarl of anger. He smoothed his suit down and peered around the tree to see the other angel and demon picking up the pace.

Beelzebub peered out from under his arm so they could see what was happening too and nudged the archangel harshly.

"Letzzz go before they're gone." They buzzed, speeding off. This time it was Gabriel who was huffing after them. He liked to jog in his spare time, keep his corporeal form in shape, but he didn't really ever sprint, and right now Beelzebub was running like a gazelle and easily outpacing him.

They reached Aziraphale and Crowley just as the demon started the car.

In a moment of anger, and quick thinking, Gabriel picked up Geraldine who had managed to stay on Beelzebub's head, and chucked her at the car.

Geraldine made a high pitched buzzing scream and landed in the little crevice of the car that was above the wheel, just as the car took off.

Beelzebub turned to him, their face the most expressive he'd ever seen it.

They looked ready to say something before they tore off after the car, their short legs a blur as they leaped over other cars and knocked over any pedestrian, animal, or object that stood in their way. Gabriel took to following them from the sidewalk, his body on autopilot as his mind was in shock at this new development.

Damn, they really were _hot_ running through traffic. Gabriel did not have enough energy to smack his head again at _that_ thought, and continued running until he almost slammed into Beelzebub who was standing stock still and not out of breath at all.

Gabriel's form was making an odd wheezing sound, and he found squatting down and placing his hands on his bent knees helped the air flow that he suddenly seemed to need.

"You, threw Geraldine." Beelzebub was suddenly vibrating.

"Where did they go?" Gabriel started to straighten, his attention on more pressing matters than the fly. He thought it had been rather genius of him to throw Geraldine at the car, now they could use the fly to track where the Bentley was going. 

He was just taking in the fact that they were on a smaller side road with little shops right before the M25 when he was suddenly slammed into a brick wall of a shop that he had his back too.

Beelzebub was _thrumming_ with anger, their lips pulled back in a snarl as they used all their strength to pin Gabriel to the wall with their forearm to his throat. Beelzebub suddenly looked every bit of a demon, the pus filled sores returning to their face, and the flies buzzing around anxiously and angrily what with the loss of their larger friend.

" **YOU FUCKING THREW GERALDINE INTO THEIR CAR!"**

Their voice boomed, causing the entire block to shake slightly. The wall that was pressed into Gabriel's back shuddered with the most impact from the demon's words.

"Now Beelze-"

" **DO NOT SZZPEAK TO ME LIKE WE ARE FRIENDZZZZZ! YOU JUST TOSSZZZED MY GODDAMN FLY INTO THEIR CAR, WHAT KIND OF IDIOTIC AND SZZZTUPID THING DID YOU JUST DO!"** Beelzebub screeched, pressing their forearm harder against his throat.

"If you..would just..let...me explain." He huffed out. He wasn't in any pain but it was certainly difficult to talk when someone was crushing your windpipe and vocal cords.

Beelzebub regarded him coldly before withdrawing their forearm a bit, allowing him to speak.

He cleared his throat, and hesitantly lifted his arms up to remove their forearm, but they glared harder and he let his hands flop back down to his side.

"Well, your flies, they're a part of you correct? So, all you have to do is sense out that part of you and we'll find them. Geraldine is a tracker." He finished off with a smile he considered most charming.

Beelzebub was back to their impassive face, which he took to be a good sign, and removed their arm fully from his throat, which he regarded as an even better sign, and stepped back. 

"I szzzuppose you're right." They muttered, brushing back a bit of their black hair that had fallen into their eye.

Gabriel watched, fully taking in the shorter figure. Who, he was now degradedly admitting, _was_ rather cute. They had horribly shaggy black hair that just reached their shoulders, and a tacky black uniform with a red sash, but they carried their corporeal form with strength, confidence, and an air of indifference that was attracting Gabriel to them. Their brown eyes were quite pretty and round, and their tiny mouth when not frowning, was rather adorable as well. Gabriel had a horrible sinking feeling in his stomach.

"Never do that again though. You don't juszzt...never in my life...oh poor Geraldine." The demon sounded actually worried and Gabriel looked at them in slight wonder. He didn't think demons could show any emotions. Besides that _Crowley_ , but he was weird breed who was a 600 level worker. This was Beelzebub, Duke of Hell. Often mistook for Satan himself.

They turned to face him, their expression slipping into slight concern, and now that the sores were gone again, Gabriel could feel himself letting out just a little bit of lo-

No. 

Gabriel straightened his suit in and tie, unaware of the parallel that had just happened, and made his face indifferently polite.

He was an archangel, he wasn't that disgusting serpent _,_ or the traitorous Aziraphale. Demons did not feel anything but hate and joy at people's misery. He thought Beelzebub was actually, rather repulsive.

"It worked out fine in the end." He said, acutely aware of how Beelzebub was looking at him confused by his change of mannerisms. "Now," he leaned down so he was faced to face with them, using a bit of his own intimidation, "find us those _traitors._ "

* * *

"Anathema has to have a spell. She's a bloody witch isn't she?" Crowley hissed, screeching the car to a halt outside the familiar cottage, all too reminiscent of earlier in the week when they had been there for the lunch that had essentially brought them together.

"I'm not sure witches were all versed in spells for angels and demons dear." Aziraphale was much calmer now that the car had been put into park, and rested a reassuring hand on Crowley's thigh.

"And what is that blasted buzzing? I could hear it over the music." Crowley snapped, shutting the car off as the last bars of Beethovens, - now Queens - " _Spread Your Wings_ " faded away.

He shoved the car door open, Aziraphale following the same motion but much gentler, as the demon stalked around his car.

There was a very loud buzz coming from the area of the tires and suddenly Crowley's arms were filled with a black mass the size of a Pomeranian.

Aziraphale let out a gasp, as Crowley stared into two large red eyes.

"Is that a fly?" Aziraphale croaked out, stepping forward in fascination and horror.

"Oh yes it is." Crowley said weakly, unable to tear his eyes away from the fuzzy mass that was buzzing happily up at him, obviously pleased to see someone familiar.

"This is Geraldine." 

The fly nuzzled closer at the mention of her name and Aziraphale was looking at her now with a fonder look.

"Geraldine" Aziraphale cooed softly, stroking her wings as gently as he could.

Geraldine buzzed louder.

"Why, she's adorable." 

Crowley made said something equivalent of someone typing random letters on a keyboard, and stood helplessly as the fly buzzed happily in his arms and let the angel pet her.

"You do realize this is Beelzebub's right? Geraldine is the one who's always atop their head?" He hissed, utterly disgusted but loving how cute his angel was, as said angel continued petting and cooing at the fly.

"We should get her some nectar, or I'm sure Anathema has some lovely fruit for her- sorry what were you saying dear?" Aziraphale turned his face up towards Crowleys.

"I said," Crowley huffed irritated with the angel, "that this fly is Beelzebub's"

"Oh."

" _Oh."_ Crowley mocked, glaring behind his sunglasses.

"Well they're not here are they?" Aziraphale asked worriedly, stopping the petting of the fly so he could twist his hands together in a worried fashion that was a normal look for the angel, even after the not-apocalypse.

"No. Otherwise she wouldn't be clinging to me. She recognized an..er...friendly face."

"Well, what do we do with her?" Aziraphale asked, gesturing up towards the cottage. "I don't think Anathema will mind, unless she has a fear of flies. But Geraldine seems well behaved."

Crowley scowled but shifted the fly in his arms so he could open the gate for his angel much like he had done the first time they'd been there. Aziraphale gave him a pleasant smile and the three of them made their way to the front door.


End file.
